disenfranchised pain:
        dis-en-fran-chahyz:  to deny someone a right

OFTEN, the pain and humiliation suffered by victims is disenfranchised.

• Peers deny victims the right to Cry, get Angry, become Upset, Depressed, or to Tell Anyone about what is going on, and how they are suffering.
  
•  LABELED a Cry-Baby, Gay, a Fag, or simply Pathetic should they do any of these things,  a victim  is not only ridiculed, humiliated, and ostracized, but is expected to be able to "take it" --to suffer in silence.
• If s/he can't, it is cause for further humiliation.

What You Should Know:

• Taunting, mockery, exclusion, gossip and rumors (whether on-line, in school, or the workplace) are forms of violence-- emotional and psychological violence.  The wounds they inflict can be deep, and fester for years.

• These behaviors humiliate and stigmatize their targets, damaging current, as well as  future, relationships.

• Bullying  often leaves its victim with few, if any, opportunities to explain their point of view, or make amends.
• Tears or formal complaint legitimate the abuse that has been directed at her.  She "can't take it"--and her pain is "proof" that she is pathetic.  Unfortunately, admitting distress--even despair--often causes torment to escalate.
• The pain  caused by social abuse is legitimate.  It  "lights up" the same pain centers of the brain as does physical harm to the body.  Would you tell someone with a broken arm to "get over it" or "not let it bother you"?  Social pain is real.  It hurts.  And it needs to be acknowledged, and given the opportunity to heal.