disenfranchised pain:
dis-en-fran-chahyz: to deny someone a right
OFTEN, the pain and humiliation suffered by victims is disenfranchised.
What You Should Know:
dis-en-fran-chahyz: to deny someone a right
OFTEN, the pain and humiliation suffered by victims is disenfranchised.
- Peers deny victims the right to Cry, get Angry, become Upset, Depressed, or to Tell Anyone about what is going on, and how they are suffering.
- LABELED a Cry-Baby, Gay, a Fag, or simply Pathetic should they do any of these things, a victim is not only ridiculed, humiliated, and ostracized, but is expected to be able to "take it" --to suffer in silence.
- If s/he can't, it is cause for further humiliation.
What You Should Know:
- Taunting, mockery, exclusion, gossip and rumors (whether on-line, in school, or the workplace) are forms of violence-- emotional and psychological violence. The wounds they inflict can be deep, and fester for years.
- These behaviors humiliate and stigmatize their targets, damaging current, as well as future, relationships.
- Bullying often leaves its victim with few, if any, opportunities to explain their point of view, or make amends.
- Tears or formal complaint legitimate the abuse that has been directed at her. She "can't take it"--and her pain is "proof" that she is pathetic. Unfortunately, admitting distress--even despair--often causes torment to escalate.
- The pain caused by social abuse is legitimate. It "lights up" the same pain centers of the brain as does physical harm to the body. Would you tell someone with a broken arm to "get over it" or "not let it bother you"? Social pain is real. It hurts. And it needs to be acknowledged, and given the opportunity to heal.